Oh George...

"Baby Blue"

She looked so much like a lady, but she was so much like a child.
A devil when she held me close, an angel when she smiled.
She always held it deep inside, but somehow I always knew
She's go away when the grass turned green and the sky turned baby blue.

[Chorus:]
And baby blue was the color of her eyes.
Baby blue like the Colorado skies.
Like a breath of spring, she came and left,
And I still don't know why,
So here's to you and whoever holds my baby blue tonight.

She brought colors to my life that my eyes had never touched.
And when she taught me how to care, I never cared so much.
I try not to think of her, but I fall asleep and do,
And drift off where the grass is green and the sky is baby blue.

Maybe someday I'll explain why this song is so beautiful and painful.  Not today....  Hearing it on the radio today was hard enough. Oh universe!  Cruel sense of humor.

I will say that I have learned through my (short) time on this planet that my faults are many.  Caring too much happens to be one of them.  In seeking honesty, I know that my inner self is deeply committed to seeking out those who need caring the most, yet who are incapable - through outward or inward constraints - of caring themselves.  While I would never, ever want to lose the "fault" of caring, I feel it is necessary to perhaps refine this ability.  I hope I will always be capable of loving freely, openly, and unconditionally. Not everyone can.  I have learned that I need to be loved, as I love others.  This is probably a "duh concept" to most people, but I have not lived a life blessed with this clarity. My friend Dru, who is often my voice of reason, despite his poor taste in George Lucas films, spoke volumes to me in one simple phrase - "How about loving yourself?" 

Yes, please.

In love through faith, 

Amanda